JOTD
- Thread starter Silver Soul
- Start date
Ardern visits a clairvoyant and asks if she can see what?s going to happen in the near future.
She says ?I can see you being driven in a big limousine through a large crowd, the people are happy, laugh and jump for joy, all have cuddles and big smiles on their faces.
Ardern asks ?Am I waving back to them??
No, she says "The coffin is closed?.
She says ?I can see you being driven in a big limousine through a large crowd, the people are happy, laugh and jump for joy, all have cuddles and big smiles on their faces.
Ardern asks ?Am I waving back to them??
No, she says "The coffin is closed?.
President of the Golf Club
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife?s hand in his and said;
?Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there?s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me??
Beth replied, ?Well Charles, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I?ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason.?
Charles was obviously hurt by his wife?s confession but said, ?I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ?good reasons???
Beth said, ?The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn?t pay the mortgage.
Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended, well I did what I had to do?
Charles recalled the visit to the banker and said, ?I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time??
Beth answered, ?And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn?t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed?
Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge, well I did what I had to do.?
?I recall that,? says Chuck. ?And you did it to save my life so of course I can forgive you for that.
Now tell me about the third time.?
?All right,? Beth said. ?So do you remember when you ran for president of the golf club, and you needed 73 more votes??
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife?s hand in his and said;
?Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there?s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me??
Beth replied, ?Well Charles, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I?ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason.?
Charles was obviously hurt by his wife?s confession but said, ?I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ?good reasons???
Beth said, ?The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn?t pay the mortgage.
Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended, well I did what I had to do?
Charles recalled the visit to the banker and said, ?I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time??
Beth answered, ?And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn?t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed?
Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge, well I did what I had to do.?
?I recall that,? says Chuck. ?And you did it to save my life so of course I can forgive you for that.
Now tell me about the third time.?
?All right,? Beth said. ?So do you remember when you ran for president of the golf club, and you needed 73 more votes??
