JOTD
- Thread starter Silver Soul
- Start date
No Sex Tonight 
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled----WHAT?" I then said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Women......!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled----WHAT?" I then said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Women......!
On April 20 I wanted to burn a stump, so I called the line to let them know, I'm told it's 2 days until fire restrictions end, I tell them that's silly and it's been raining all week and nobody will care.
Half an hour later or so I'm stacking wood around a stump getting ready to light it and the fire brigade comes walking into my yard.
The fire guy said that I couldn't light it because I'd get a fine for breaking restrictions, but in 2 days I'll be right to light it. I pointed out that there's no difference between lighting it this or next weekend and since he's the one who would fine me he could just ignore it.
Idiots enforcing idiotic rules.
Half an hour later or so I'm stacking wood around a stump getting ready to light it and the fire brigade comes walking into my yard.
The fire guy said that I couldn't light it because I'd get a fine for breaking restrictions, but in 2 days I'll be right to light it. I pointed out that there's no difference between lighting it this or next weekend and since he's the one who would fine me he could just ignore it.
Idiots enforcing idiotic rules.
Chinese OHS standards are lacking.
I figured since it's a video on the internet of a person in China wearing work clothes in a precarious situation, I expected they would fall.
It caught me off guard when they didn't.
I'm rural vic, CFA are good, and fire rules are important and all that, but setting strict rules with no room for movement even when it's just an arbitrary date chosen ages ago, and current circumstances aren't taken into account and then it's enforced with a fine.
It's just silly, I think.
It's just silly, I think.
Yep. Hard for me to watch. This puts the loaves and fishes fable to shame. Big hungry crowd
I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I am in my 70’s now and I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again, Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.
